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Annoying Collectibles
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Written by Slam Da Brakes   
Sunday, 24 January 2010 00:00
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Nearly every release so far this year has seen collectible achievements and it doesn't seem developers are stopping them anytime soon. Collecting shiny objects or fruit (which ALWAYS to appear in kids games) is not really my gig. So here are TEN reasons why I hate collectibles and why they can be annoying..

 

 

Any number of collectibles beyond 50 is ludicrous. Crackdown had 500 orbs and it was mental torture, as I was stuck on 499 for weeks. I literally broke down in tears when I saw my last one humming after I had traversed the same area for weeks before. I don't think I could ever again face another 500+ collectible achievement. Well not until Crackdown 2.

 

 

Been here many a time. Buy a new game, find there are collectibles and you Google a guide. Ugh...no guide! So you post in a forum along with numerous others asking "anyone done collectible guide yet?" Then you always get some smart ass poster saying "Why don't YOU write a guide" Where do these people come from?  Why am I looking for one if I can write one? I am here to save time , not buy it.

 

 

Do you remember the flags in Assassins Creed? Do you remember why they were there? Of course not because they did rock all to the story or game. They were there because the developers couldn't think of a better way to make you cover the whole map so they decided to throw in hundreds of pointless flags. At least in GTA you unlocked a flamethrower or Call Of Duty 4 Intels unlocked cheats. 

 

 

It is not science. It is even not common sense. It is just rude and insulting to put collectibles in a game and not give you counter at level select. How are supposed to know how many you have missed or where you have missed them if they are not going to give you at least a clue? I am finger pointing at Ben 10 Viglax Attacks here.  If you miss one badge, you will have to replay all the levels again and look for it. Grrrr.

 

 

Like the ones without real-time saving and you have to pick up again after you die. I died because your game sucks and then you expect me to go back and collect it again? Jumper was a nasty and cheap game and it had the insolence to make you do just that, go back.

 

 

The ones where some sadistic developer placed high and for the love of God you cannot reach. Ever bashed the A button continually trying to reach a collectable? Of course logically you know with game physics that bashing the A button continually means you are standing in the wrong place. Yet we still do it.  I don't mind a challenge, but not in kids games. Shouldn't be allowed. There is one in Lego Indiana Jones where you have to jump in across three rotating pillars to reach a treasure chest. Talk about swearing in front of the kids.

 

 

It is bad enough you have to try and figure a strategy to defeat a boss and then the game expects you to stop and collect something while you are there. The Bourne Conspiracy had a passport to collect after the boss gun fight coming out of the museum. Tricky, as you had to play this section and collect it on Assassin (hard) difficulty if you wanted to play the game in a single playthrough. The major annoyance is that if you missed it, you couldn't go back to a checkpoint as a cut scene would trigger. You would have to play the whole level again. All for one shabby passport.

 

 

It is almost inevitably one. It is never two or three. It is the law of missing collectibles that when you reach the end of the game,  and if the achievement for the collectibles did not pop, then you are missing ONE.  You check your stats and sure enough 99 / 100. The game is glitched obviously as there is no way you could have missed one as you followed the collectible guide. Unless of course the guide is flawed and then everyone else is stuck on 99.

 

 

Like the ones that disappear if you do not reach it in time. I hate these. It is always a swear-a-thon when I encounter a collectible that requires me to go through hoops to reach it for it to disappear or for the door to close just when I get there. Tomb Raider was notorious for crap like this and most recently Gears 2 had one. The worst one ever for me was Lego Indiana Jones (again) with the treasure chest on the back of the truck driving sequence. If you missed it jumping for one truck to the next, it disappeared and you would have to replay the WHOLE level again. This is probably why I am avoiding Lego Indiana Jones 2.

 

 

This here I think is the ultimate annoyance when it comes to collectibles. The one you cannot pick up or just simply isn't there or the stats are glitched. You have given time and effort and picked 100 fruit but your stats says 99. Not funny. The Force Unleashed had a Holocron collectible glitch in that if you changed costumes, it would wipe ALL your stats. Ben 10 has a collectible that is stuck in a wall. This is major annoyance as there almost nothing you can do about it. You have to either wait until there is a patch or find a workaround (if there is one) Otherwise the game stays in a corner of your room as unfinished business.

 

So there are my ten reasons why I hate collectibles in games. I am still going to do them in games, it is just I don't trust them and I approach any collectable achievement with suspicion. Please comment below if you have found an annoying collectible. As for me I can't wait to do the 500 orbs in Crackdown 2. 

 

 

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